


Why Am I Crying?

by echoinspxce



Series: Astronomical: Voltron Song Fics [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Earth, F/M, POV Allura (Voltron), Post-Season/Series 06, Songfic, Why Am I Crying by Molly Sandén, inspired by a song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 16:48:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15247587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echoinspxce/pseuds/echoinspxce
Summary: While being stopped at a planet on the way to Earth, and Coran has long since fallen asleep, Allura finally has time to comprehend everything that has happened in the past few days. Especially when a certain name comes to mind.I'm not gonna needNot gonna needNot gonna need you if I fallSo why am I cryingI'm not gonna missNot gonna missNot gonna miss you, not at allSo what am I doing here on the floor cryingInspired by the beautiful song Why Am I Crying by Molly Sandén





	Why Am I Crying?

At last, after varga of flying through empty space, we came across a planet, thankfully part of the coalition, who were happy to let us rest there. We all emerged from our lions to stretch and rest. Keith and Pidge even managed to start a fire on a pile of blue-tinted logs- what had they called it? A campfire?- to keep us warm. After sitting around the flames for a bit, Coran suggested we all get some sleep. We planned to set off at first sunlight, so we wanted to be fully awake.

Once everyone had gone to sleep, I found myself lying awake, unable to shake the feeling of sorrow from my heart. I arose from my place on the Blue Lion’s floor and crept out to the fresh air outside. I took a look around our small campsite and noticed Lance’s sleeping form on top of the Red Lion. He must have been looking at the stars, the view was quite beautiful from the small planet of Xurrikal. The once-campfire now lay in ashes, the embers now burning out. I heard loud snoring coming from the Yellow Lion, and fast-paced typing from the Green. Pidge should really sleep, I don’t want her passing out tomorrow while we’re flying. But I knew she wouldn’t listen to me. As I took a deep breath and distanced myself from the group, settling on a large rock overlooking a pink sea, I realized I had not had much time to myself for quite awhile.

So much has taken place over the course of a few short days. The castle was gone, there is a colony of Alteans, and Lotor-

I suddenly choked back a sob, collapsing onto my hands and knees atop the rock.  _ Lotor.  _ He lied to me, tore me apart from the inside. I had thought that he was the key, the answer to our problems, the way to reform a bond between Voltron and the Galra Empire. But I was wrong, and my weakness allowed him to gain vital data to his plan and almost take over the universe.  _ I helped him almost destroy the universe. _

The truth is, no matter how much I try to deny it, I was in love with him. The man I thought he was. He preached peace and order, safety and fairness. Little did I know, that was all a ploy to gain the trust of myself and the paladins. He was nothing more than a power-hungry Galra maniac, much like his father.

So why am I crying? What am I doing here, on a random rock, sobbing my heart out between my knees?

It’s not like I miss him, I could never miss someone who stole the lifeforce of Alteans for generations. He was constantly taking up my time when I should have been training with the other paladins or planning with Shiro- well, since Shiro had ended up being a clone under Haggar’s control, maybe it’s a good thing I didn’t do that- and I could tell the paladins were still skeptical about working with him. But I went ahead and trusted him anyway. I trusted a horrid man who caused suffering for my people, whom I had not known were even alive.

It’s not like I need him to succeed, either, I was perfectly fine before he came into my life, and, with time, I would be fine without him. I don’t need someone to hold when things go wrong, and if I did, I have the team. I’m what they turn to when things get rough, not the other way around.

I can’t let something as silly as this ruin me, I have bigger things to worry about. I’m not so fragile that I’ll break when a relationship that never went anywhere ends in a not-so-desirable way.

The reason I am crying is that I was in love with a lie. A thing that was never to be. My heart couldn’t help yearn for something it thought it had, despite the fact that it was but a sham. While I could not deny that I was, in fact, in love with Lotor, knowing that he was not who he said he was, I can heal.

And if you ask me, love is kind of overrated.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this pretty short one-shot! I am working on some others, (one of them is really long), so stay tuned for those!


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